Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
