It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
