thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
