That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
