So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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