i cant cry in cvs. not again.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize