So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
