does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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