Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
