Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
