i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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