Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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