Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
