i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
