and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
