But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
