You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
