i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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