She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
