I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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