After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
