so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
