I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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