Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
