Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
