We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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