Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
