if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
