Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
