Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
