i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
