She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
