I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
