he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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