i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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