She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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