They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
