Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
