She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
