I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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