I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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