I can text with my tongue
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize