She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
