Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
babies were throwing up all over the place
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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