I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
