would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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