Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
