everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
this will be a night to untag.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize