Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im drinking this country out of the recession.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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