Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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