I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
