I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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