I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
