I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
