I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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