Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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