Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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