one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
